If you’re not familiar with what I mean by INTJ, it’s from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator system. This is a popular framework for understanding personalities that is based on the brilliant work of a psychologist named Carl Jung. Briefly, INTJ describes a person who does well thinking about concepts and coming up with long term plans, but struggles when it comes to matters of emotions and experiencing life in the moment. This is where Art comes in.
What is Art? We could spend a significant (infinite?) amount of time exploring the answer to this question. Is it a concept? Maybe, but some people seem to embody Art without even being conscious of the concept. The conclusion from one discussion on this question is that: Art is creative intention. There is always some sort of intention involved when one creates Art. Otherwise, we found that Art is seemingly impossible to define.
As someone with INTJ preferences, I have spent most of my life in the realm of concepts, running simulations in my head and figuring out how to make them work. This has manifested in my work as an engineer. However, when it comes to the realms of the emotional and tangible, I burn through a ton of energy when I operate within them because they require skills that are less developed for me. What I have discovered though, is that my life has been much improved by working on them! Playing Ukulele out in nature is somehow my cure-all for any of my problems.
Painting with ERAS has been a totally different experience, however. I went into it with no intention other than to test a machine, but came out seeing things about myself of which I was not previously conscious. In one case, I had channeled anger into a piece that some found terrifying, others passionate. In another, I captured my abrupt communication style and my self-image as one who is alien, an outsider.
I also faced my fear of rejection by posting my pieces online and showing them to the Gainesville community in person. The first few times were really scary, but I eventually came to realize that it was perfectly ok if I made something that nobody liked. I was even more amazed by just how supportive strangers and acquaintances can be. I can’t express enough gratitude to all of the people in Gainesville who were, and still are, so kind to me.
Funnily enough, this blog post itself has helped me because it revealed issues with my self-image and written communication style. Similarly to when I paint, I discovered things about myself of which I was previously not conscious. Only my wife gets to know what was in the unedited version though! I don’t think you want to see my dirty laundry 😉
If not for working on developing my own emotional landscape, I would be living a meaningless life, making myself and those around me miserable. Paying attention to my emotions and keeping what I value in mind allows me to know how to live the best life I can. As for living in the moment? There’s certainly still a long way to go, but I have really come to appreciate experiences and simply paying attention to my surroundings! My tendency is to spend all day in my head, but when I actually go out into the world, I tend to have increasingly magical experiences.